No, Ben: "Moderate" is not a synonym for "Corporate Cock-Sucking Cowardly Weasel"

Call yourself whatever ridiculous lying fantasy you want, Wire Hangar: it's not going to save you from the most humongous, humiliating, career-destroying, dick-vanishing defeat by an incumbent in the history of Kentucky politics.

U.S. Rep. Ben Chandler laid a foundation for his re-election campaign at a business luncheon Friday by billing himself as a congressional moderate — a dying breed that he said is being squeezed out by hard-line activists on both sides.

Wrong. The repug party consists entirely of bomb-waving nihilists, but not because moderates were "squeezed out." Repug moderates now call themselves "conservative Democrats." They, along with actual moderate Democrats, run the party and all three branches of the federal government. Hard-line activists on the left are far too busy trying to save lives in Haiti to give a flying fuck about your worthless ass.

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He invoked the name of Henry Clay, the 19th-century U.S. senator from Lexington whose work during the debate over slavery earned him the nickname the "Great Compromiser."

"Today, he'd be called the 'Great Betrayer' because you don't get rewarded for compromising in this atmosphere," Chandler said.

Um, Henry Clay was a member of the Whig Party, the precursor to the Republican Party. His great compromises led directly to the Civil War. And he never mistook letting the opposition walk all over you for "compromise."

Earlier in his remarks, he said he had "a tremendous working relationship" with key Kentucky Republicans, U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell and U.S. Rep. Hal Rogers of Somerset, on issues such as the chemical disposal at the U.S. Army Depot and obtaining federal funding for Kentucky.

Of course he does - he's one of them.

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"People are far more interested in representation from folks who they sense have an independent approach," he told the Herald-Leader.

People are far more interested in representation from someone who votes to help his actual constituents rather than his corporate campaign contributors.

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Chandler, who said he hasn't met any of the Republican candidates, declined to respond to their early criticism "until they decide who their nominee is going to be."

"It's going to be exactly what I expect," Chandler said. "Ugly attacks from the other side."

Oooh, girls - check out the big, stwong, manly man! Big stwong manly man who knows exactly how to respond to ugly attacks from repugs: cower in the corner, crying and pleading for them not to hurt you.

Believe us, Wire Hanger: there is absolutely no attack from repugs, no matter how full of Caribou-Barbie-inspired lies, that will come remotely close to painful as the filthy, disgusting, inexcusable TRUTH that real Democrats are going to tell about you.