The Tribute He Deserves

Down with Tyranny:

Mitch Landrieu, You Are Full of Shit.

And you owe me 25.00 for the copy of your book that I bought based on your interview with Trevor Noah on the Daily Show, in which you strongly indicated that the book was all about the fight to take down Confederate statues in New Orleans.

It is not.  It is all about why Trump voters who may, deep down, feel a little guilty about being motherfucking racists, should vote for Mitch Landrieu for president in 2020.

The very first page and the last chapter are about the statues, and even those are more about you and the statues, and you and the modern confederacy, and you and your internal struggle with your white privilege.

Chapter after chapter about you and your house in a mixed neighborhood, you and all your many black friends down the block and in school, you and the insults you took from racist whites for having black friends.

And the biggest section about Katrina - well, not so much about the actual flooding and massive damage to lives and property, but about how you personally brought the city back to life.  That is, if you can call a corporatized, disaster capitalismed, privatized sinkhole of for-profit destruction a "city." Or "life."

And jesusfuckingchocolatecoveredchristonapogostick, one story that should keep you from getting within 100 miles of the Democratic nomination for dog catcher, much less president: the time in a pickup basketball game with two black guys when one of them knocked you down and glared at you, saying "blond-haired, blue-eyed devil!"

You called it a revelation, and for a moment I thought you were going to realize how deeply embedded in the lives of black people is the understanding that white people are and always have been the enemy.

But no. Your "revelation", I swear to dog, was: "Black people are racist, too."

If the 2020 primary comes down to you and Andrew Cuomo, we'll know that Trumpism has triumphed.

Kill yourself now, Mitch, before every real Democratic voter in the country has to explain why we're not going to try to explain you, much less apologize for you.

And one more thing. Your book, which I have not named for obvious reasons, has Not. One. Fucking. Word. about Black Lives Matter, which fought the statue battle long before you came along (except for mentioning those three words on the back of a church sign, jesus.)