Here's a Few Ideas For Ya, Charlie

The new chair of the Kentucky Democratic Party, Charlie Moore, is asking for ideas about how to improve the party organization.

Well, Charlie, given that the Kentucky Democratic Party is flat on its ass and the laughingstock of the nation for failing to win a single race not already held by a Democratic incumbent in the biggest national Democratic election landslide in 76 years, you could look at it two ways:

On the one hand the KDP is so fucking pathetic anything at all in the general direction of actually attempting to win elections would be a massive improvement.

On the other hand the KDP is so fucking pathetic that it's going to take decades, billions of dollars and millions of volunteer hours to even drag it up off the floor and into an upright position.

So, here are a few ideas from someone so disgusted with my local "democratic" party I refuse to acknowledge its existence. You want people like me involved again? Giving money, working for candidates, giving a flying fuck? Here's what you do:

• Make each and every County Chair fully accountable for party performance in his/her county. That means setting performance standards and forcing chairs to meet them. Standards like ensuring every precinct has all three precinct officers, that those officers properly organize their precincts, and that precinct officers who fail to perform their duties are quickly replaced. Replace immediately all non-performing county chairs.
  

• Set coherent policies for endorsements and support in primaries and general elections. If you're going to meddle in the primary, then stop lying about having to stay neutral in primaries. Support all nominees equally with money, staff and fundraising data or else just announce up front that you like rich white guys, so poor people, female people and brown/black people who win primaries are on their own.

• Announce that dissent is patriotic, but candidates and party officials who publicly reject the platform of the national Democratic Party or fail to endorse and support national Democratic Party candidates thus reject the money, volunteer support and endorsement of the Kentucky Democratic Party. County chairs who reject the party's positions and candidates must resign immediately.

• Make crystal clear that the Kentucky Democratic Party is the Democratic Party, not the Blue Dog Party, or the We Love Coal Party, or the We Do What Repugs Tell Us To Do Party, or the Rich Christian White Guys Party, or the Gay Panic Party, or the Shame the Sluts Party, or any other manifestation of the Keep Kentucky Poor and Stupid Party.

• Make substantial contributions of time and or money to local party-building a condition of serving on the state central committee. This goes for elected officials, especially. How long has it been since Dan Mongiardo knocked on doors for Perry County magistrate candidates? No more free rides for big shots who don't do shit to help the party.

• Make all state party meetings public, advertise the time and place, and move them around the state so everybody can attend. Videotape all public meetings and post them on the website. Make all party documents public - especially budgets and expense reports - and post them on the website. (Do you really think the repugs don't know your pathetic strategy? The only people who don't know it are us poor actual Democrats who don't sit on the central committee.)

• Be the first to loudly and publicly condemn any Democratic official caught in any illegal or unethical activity. Get out in front of it, demand immediate resignations from everybody who even appears to be unethical, and make clear that the Kentucky Democratic Party will not tolerate even the appearance of impropriety.

• Beg the Obama campaign for the Kentucky data on its massive donor email list, then use it.

• Obtain a videotape of David Williams in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

• Obama won. Get over it.