Whom Would You Treat This Way?

Teddy Partridge explains why President Obama's executive order was necessary:

This shouldn’t happen in 21st century America. We say we’ve given people the legal tools to protect themselves and their relationships from this kind of horror. A same-sex Sonoma County (CA) couple, Harold & Clay, found that their legal protections were meaningless, because, well — because their government decided their documented protections could be ignored.

That’s not right.

Clay, 77, and Harold, 88, still lived together in their home and cared for one another, having put medical directives in place that allowed one to decide for the other what was best in case of emergencies. But in a perfect example of ‘you are only as protected as your government decides’ they were separated after Harold suffered a fall at home:

One evening, Harold fell down the front steps of their home and was taken to the hospital. Based on their medical directives alone, Clay should have been consulted in Harold’s care from the first moment. Tragically, county and health care workers instead refused to allow Clay to see Harold in the hospital. The county then ultimately went one step further by isolating the couple from each other, placing the men in separate nursing homes.

While ignoring Clay in deciding about Harold’s care, Sonoma County also decided they’d like to make financial decisions for the couple. A court said the county couldn’t do that, but unfortunately allowed limited access to one of Harold’s bank accounts to pay for his care. Then it gets worse:

Without authority, without determining the value of Clay and Harold’s possessions accumulated over the course of their 20 years together or making any effort to determine which items belonged to whom, the county took everything Harold and Clay owned and auctioned off all of their belongings. Adding further insult to grave injury, the county removed Clay from his home and confined him to a nursing home against his will. The county workers then terminated Clay and Harold’s lease and surrendered the home they had shared for many years to the landlord.

Harold died alone. Clay has nothing left of their possessions except a scrapbook of photos Harold assembled during his last three months of life. After 20 years of life together, these men were separated, their home torn asunder, their possessions auctioned off, and their lives ruined.

That’s not right. But it happened, in America, despite the couple’s best laid-plans.

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