Baby Jeebus Loses the Majority in Kentucky

Yep, real xians are down to a bare 25 percent of the population. I would have put it at 40, 45 percent, but I don't have actual, official, evangelical statistics.

According to a Kentucky Baptist Convention official, 2,587,995 Kentuckians “are lost without Christ.”

Ross Bauscher, Evangelism Growth Team Leader for the Kentucky Baptist Convention, announced those figures at the convention's annual meeting earlier in November. The context was a talk he gave promoting a major evangelistic campaign planned by the state's largest denomination for early next year, the aim being to win some of the souls he said are lost.

Statistics are a helpful, if limited, measure of the vitality of religious movements. There are statistics on religious membership (defined by denominations), religious identity (revealed by individuals in surveys), worship attendance (reported by either) and various subcategories.

Until now, I've never seen anyone offer such a precise estimate of the hellbound population, and it would be interesting to know the methodology.

Unfortunately, the formula used for the unusual statistic — measuring the relationship between individuals and God — is unclear.

Bauscher said in an interview he got the statistic from a researcher with the convention's national affiliate, the Southern Baptist Convention. Bauscher said he asked for the Kentucky figures after hearing more general statistics that three in four residents of North America are lost.

Statistics! From a researcher! How can you argue with that?

I look forward to first thing Monday morning, when Attorney General Jack Conway drops his case insisting an invisible sky wizard runs the Department of Homeland Security, and Governor Steve Beshear restores the proper name of the state Winter Solstice Evergreen.

Majority rules, you fuckers.