Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Bevin Just Chopping Poor People Into Hamburger Now

Congratulations, motherfucker.  You have exceeded any AynRandian wet dream Paul Ryan could come up with.  You've got a plan that will turn Kentucky into a fourth-world hellhole that will make Haiti look like Denmark. You've out-Brownbacked Kansas' own Destroyer.

Bevin's plan to "reform Medicaid" is so off the Outrage Meter that only Wonkette can deal with it properly:

How will they do this, you ask? WELL. First they’re going to tell everyone that employment leads to good health, which is as true as saying that marriage gets you out of poverty! Then they’re going to give everyone jobs (they’re not going to give anyone jobs) and when everyone is working they can all buy employer-based health insurance! That is actually their plan to fix the public health crisis in their state! It’s kind of like listening to Jeb! talk about 4.5% GDP growth year over year, or Donald Trump explain who’s paying for the #FuckingWall.

Anyway, that’s not the bit that’s outrageous, that’s just the wet dreams of Sam Brownback. Here’s the really innovative and start-uppy and consumer-driven part! See, if you want something swanky like glasses or God forbid dental care, then you can do various Character-Building activities like community service or rehab! And accrue points in an account! Which will be taken away if you misbehave!

God bless the free markets, I tell you what. This state is faced with what even they admit is close to epidemic level rates of HIV and hepatitis, and how many times do you have to have to fall asleep to an audio version of Atlas Shrugged before the following actual sentence isn’t dystopian as all fuck: “The cornerstone of the Kentucky HEALTH program is the introduction of a community engagement and employment initiative aimed at increasing workforce participation rates in Kentucky, which is critical to improving the health status of Kentuckians.”

THEIR BEST TACTIC FOR STOPPING A HEALTH EPIDEMIC IS JOBS AND GROWTH. Anyway, poor people of Kentucky: We hope you enjoy your new Medicaid plan, in which you can have all the fun of a prison work-release program and if you do earn enough points in side quests, you’ll get to have a root canal achievement!
The state has not yet commented on how it plans to pay for the ridiculous amount of administration and at least one new agency it will take to get caseworkers to follow up on all this new bullshit, nor on how much extra staff they plan to take on to keep up with demand. When reached for comment, the spokesmonkey just yelled at us about how well Kansas is doing then called us fake news.
Here's my plan for fixing Kentucky's real problem, which is that we are ruled by a bunch of rich motherfuckers who have never worked a day in their privileged fucking lives.

Take them out of their fancy houses and take away their fancy cars and cancel their health insurance and freeze all their accounts and give them a job mopping up puke in the filthy restrooms of some fast-food joint for minimum wage.  Part time.  Then make them find a place to live on $200 a week that is not a slum or a shack.

Then when they are coughing their lungs out with pneumonia or screaming from the agony of back pain tell them that they haven't earned enough good behavior points to get health care.