Get Your "Legal" 'Bortions Quick Before They're All Gone

I wasn't going to post anything about the Roe anniversary today, because jesus fucking christ it's so infuriating and depressing and stupid beyond description.

But then I read Kaili Joy Gray at Wonkette, who takes all the righteous anger and the bottomless grief and turns it into something goddamned funny that also sends you out into the streets to fight - again.

Forty-one years ago today, the Supreme Court made the bold declaration that what a woman does with her uterus is her own fucking business (before a fetus is viable, and then it gets kind of murky). And we Vagina-Americans have been fighting to remind the country that no, seriously, this is our legal right for reals, ever since.

SNIP

And of course we’ve had state after state after state come up with all kinds of donkeyshit legislation (that’s a technical term) to restrict abortion so that it’s basically illegal. Like, you can only have an abortion if you have eleventeen appointments with your doctor first, and your doctor has to describe to you how if you don’t KILL YOUR BABY, it might grow up to be blond and blue-eyed and be a star quarterback and maybe the next Jesus and/or Mozart so are you SURE you want to kill your baby, you whore? Go home and think about it for 24 hours, or even 72 hours, and then come back, hear the speech again, look at some pictures, and then MAYBE you can have that abortion if you still really want it. Whore.

Many of those laws have been overturned because of that whole Roe v. Wade thing that says abortion is legal so you can’t actually make it illegal because it is legal, you dumbasses. But that does not stop them from trying again and again and again some more.

SNIP

Since the Supreme Court’s decision in 1973, the great defenders of “life” (where “life” means unborn babies, but not people who are executed because that’s totally not the same thing, and funny how “pro-lifers” are also super pro-death penalty and also pro-war, but hey, let’s not bother to point out the hypocrisy because that would be mean), we’ve also seen thousands and thousands of terrorist attacks on abortion providers and their patients because nothing says “pro-life” like bombing a clinic or assassinating a doctor IN HIS CHURCH. (Now is a good time, because it’s always a good time, to remind you that Cheryl Sullenger, the senior policy adviser for Operation Rescue, one of the nation’s most prominent anti-choice organizations, served actual time in actual prison for trying to blow up an abortion clinic. You know, for life.)

SNIP

Sigh. We are depressed (whatcha gonna do about that, Justice Kennedy?) that more than four decades later, we are still fighting this stupid war to remind the country that we are TOO allowed to make our own decisions about whether and when to pop some babies out of our bodies. We are even more depressed that we have less access and more restrictions now than we did in 1973. We are damned near suicidal that when we look in the mirror, we do not see PROPERTY OF THE STATE tattooed on our lady parts, but apparently it is there in invisible ink only men can read.

So we are going to go to the nearest abortion clinic — which, in most parts of the country, is now several counties and many hundreds of miles away, since those bastards have been so effective at shutting down clinics — and get ourselves some abortions while we still can, before the “pro-lifers” asterisk our rights right out of existence altogether.