Mark Sanford: It's God's Fault I'm a Lying, Cheating Asshole

It must be great to have god hanging around just waiting to be used as your all-purpose excuse. Invading pissant countries, torturing innocent detainees, condemning poor children to starvation and death ... it's god's will! Don't blame me!

I mean, how totally cool is a god so eager to help you avoid all personal responsibility that it even takes the rap for your adultery.

"It's in the spirit of making good from bad that I am committing to you and the larger family of South Carolinians to use this experience to both trust God in his larger work of changing me, and from my end, to work to becoming a better and more effective leader," (Gov. Mark Sanford) wrote (in an op-ed.)

And how much does god really, really, really love Mark Sanford that it not only forgives Sanford for repeatedly violating one of the Big Commandments, but is dropping everything else to fix a guy far more deserving of a lightning bolt to the gonads.

Senate Minority Leader John Land, also frequently at odds with Sanford, doubts the governor can change or knows how to compromise.

"If he didn't get his way, he'd take his balls and go home, so he left a lot of things on the table," the Manning Democrat said.

"You don't all of a sudden have a mid-life crisis and suddenly get along with people."

Well, obviously Land is one of those horrible members of the reality-based community, a big meanie who doesn't understand that the only one Sanford has to get along with is his own very personal invisible sky wizard.

Read the whole thing.

Andy Borowitz has god's reaction.

Cross-posted at They Gave Us A Republic ...