That's not a hat; THIS is a HAT

Big story in Frankfort is that Kentucky First Lady Jane Beshear has chosen her Derby Hat.

Stop laughing. This is Genuine Big News, and I'm going to tell you why. First, because it's going to be raffled off and the proceeds given to the Kentucky Breast Cancer Coalition.

But more importantly, because it is the Official Kentucky Derby Hat of the Kentucky First Lady.


The tradition of the Derby Hat is sacred in Kentucky. Every year on the first Saturday in May, at the Kentucky Derby, ladies - and if you're wearing a Derby Hat, you're a lady, regardless - compete to display the biggest, fanciest, most Derby-specific, most unusual, most sophisticated, mostest-of-the-mostest Derby Hat of them all. Real Kentucky ladies would not be caught dead at the Derby without a Derby Hat.

Derby Hats get the bulk of television coverage of the Derby, which on Louisville and Lexington television stations begins around 9 a.m. on Saturday and continues non-stop for more than 9 hours until after the two-minute race, which is scheduled at 5:30 p.m. and is always at least half an hour late.

But that's OK, because there are always more hats to be filmed, even if no horses can be found. The ratio of Derby Hats to Derby Horses is about 1,000 to one, both at Churchill Downs and on the television coverage.

This year, the recession is causing great consternation among Derby Hat aficionados, who fear that ladies may cut back on Derby Hat expenditures.

This article explains.

It's an AP story so the fuckers won't let me copy any of it, but I encourage you to click on it because it includes a Derby Hat slide show that is not to be missed. They range from sedate through splendiferous, past spectacular and well into un-fucking-believable.

Meanwhile, Page One Kentucky is keeping the Derby Hat tradition hot with a plea for Derby-goers to donate their hats for charity.

Are you important? Maybe an elected official? A celebrity of some sort here in the Bluegrass? Maybe you’re married to a celebrity/pseudo-celebrity or know one?

Then you should buy and/or design (it can be goofy, don’t worry) a hat for the Kentucky Derby and give it to us when you’re finished. Why?

Because we want to auction them off– on the internets– to benefit the Exploited Children’s Help Organization.

And no, nine days out this is not remotely close to the peak of Kentucky Derby craziness.

Cross-posted at They Gave Us A Republic ....