New Year's Resolutions for Liberals

1. Stop calling ourselves, or letting others call us, "progressives." We're liberals. Either you're liberal or conservative; either you support the Bill of Rights or you don't. Saying you're a "progressive" means you're a pussy who can't commit.

2. Stop letting anyone, usually repugs but especially "progressives," label or define us. Liberals support the Bill of Rights - everything else is just details.

3. Stop apologizing for anything liberals or liberalism has done - ever. And I mean anything. Don't admit liberals or liberalism was or is responsible for anything unless you've researched it and know it for certain. 99 percent of what gets blamed on liberals and liberalism was actually the fault of conservatives, reactionaries, fascists or other varieties of repug. On the few things that liberals and liberalism actually did that may not have worked out 100 percent perfectly, just say "that didn't go exactly as planned," and move on. Never apologize.

4. Stay on offense. And by that I mean "be offensive." When tempted to retreat, attack. Liberalism is right about everything; act like it.

5. Demand liberal solutions for every problem. Don't let anyone reject a liberal solution just because "it's liberal." Make them explain why they think the liberal solution won't work, then explain how and why they're wrong, and how the liberal solution will work.

6. Challenge every non-liberal policy, program, proposal, project, suggestion, assumption and implication. Reject the market-worshipping, only-rich-people-and-corporations-are-fully-human economic and cultural structure that has been strangling us for 40 years.

7. Perfect our nagging technique. Nag everyone in any position of political power to do the liberal thing. Nag the sheriff to substitute training for tazing. Nag the mayor to seek more advice from social workers and less from bankers. Nag the governor to solve the budget crisis by reforming the regressive tax system. Nag our congress critters to vote liberally. Nag the president to dance with us what brung him.

8. Remember, and remind everybody else, that the most successful and popular achievements of American history are all, every single one, liberal achievements: the New Deal, Social Security, winning World War II, the Marshall Plan, universal adult suffrage, Civil Rights, Medicare, Clean Water, Clean Air - just to name a few. And despite how people may label themselves, the policies and programs they support today are all liberal: health care reform, re-regulating Wall Street, a higher minimum wage, safe and secure jobs at good pay with good benefits, medical privacy, and more.

9. Keep Democrats honest. Become an invaluable nuisance to the local Democratic party. Invaluable for volunteering for everything and always participating; nuisance for being an out, proud and loud Liberal who never lets them forget where they came from.

10. Stand tall, speak with pride, work with confidence, act boldly.