Name Change Suggestion of the Year

Honors to Betty Cracker, for this:

I’ve never paid much attention to Sheldon Whitehouse, D-Rhode Island. He seems like a mild-mannered pol with a mild-mannered name to match. But dayum—Sheldon Whitehouse, ladies and gentlemen:



He needs to change his name to Stakedriver Wingerhammerer Von Dethhaus or something.