Drug Tests and Anal Probes for Rich People to Get Tax Cuts

Now that repug motherfuckers like Florida Governor Rick Scott and Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell have proven:

a) receiving even a few pennies of government largesse demands you pee into a cup to prove you are worthy,

b) people receiving those pennies in food stamps, welfare and unemployment compensation are, in fact, less like than the general population to be using illicit drugs or committing crimes, and

c) a good way to punish for no reason people you don't like or are afraid of is to require them to have their genitals forcibly penetrated,

we can see that the logical conclusion is to require drug tests and anal probes for rich people before they can receive tax cuts.

Wonkette gets it right:

Extremely wealthy people discard their own spouses and children as easily as they discard thousands of factory workers. They feel absolutely no guilt as they scheme and connive, and they will rip off other rich people in massive Ponzi schemes with as little feeling as they’ll rape their housekeepers. The rich strap their supposedly beloved family pets to the top of their expensive cars for days at a time, and find the animal’s resulting terror and diarrhea funny. The rich are different, that’s for sure — they lack morals. This is the not-so-surprising result of a study by scientific academic people at a university somewhere.

ABC News reports:

Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley analyzed a person’s rank in society (measured by wealth, occupational prestige and education) and found that those who were richer were more likely to cheat, lie and break the law than those who were poorer.

“We found that it is much more prevalent for people in the higher ranks of society to see greed and self-interest … as good pursuits,” said Paul Piff, lead author of the study and a doctoral candidate at Berkeley. “This resonates with a lot of current events these days.”

Oh, Berkeley. Whatever, hippies. Rich people get everything because American Jesus-God only loves the 1%. The rest of you can rot in Hell (America 2012).

Also, the drug tests and anal probes on rich people who want tax cuts should take place in public, live on broadcast teevee

UPDATE: I almost forgot tax-avoiding corporations. Yes, drug test and anal probe the CEO, COO, CFO, General Counsel and board members of every corporation that wants to pay less than the statutory 35 percent rate.