The Next Two Years, Short Version

It's too close to true to be funny, but Thers nails it:

I must have spilled something in a frickin’ hot tub motor or whatever. Anyway I’m just sitting there by the laptop, minding my own beeswax, or I suppose earwax, and a wormhole opens up from THE FUTURE, and a slip of paper whirls and flutters in, and the slip of paper is from… THE FUTURE!

It appears to be a time-line of Crucial Events that occur between November 2010 and November 2012. Just be careful with this info, McFly. Etc.

11/10: Obama orders pay freeze for all federal workers. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

12/10: Obama pledges New Era of Bipartisanship in Washington. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

1/11: Obama endorses Executive Report of Deficit Commission, the so-called “Double Secret” Report, emphasizing the dire fiscal need to entrust the long-term health of Social Security to the directorship of Goldman Sachs. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

3/11: Obama expresses helplessness in face of obvious Legal Reality that filibusters, constitutionally, only apply to Democrats, abandons effort to restrict carbon emissions via the EPA. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

5/11: Reform of Don’t Ask Don’t tell stymied by successful Obama Administration lawsuit; policy enshrined in Perpetual Law. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

6/11. In order to Steal a March on the GOP, Obama administration announces decision to appoint a Special Prosecutor to investigate Obama Administration for various unconstitutional acts of a nature incomprehensible to anyone not following AM talk radio or Glenn Reynolds. New head of CNN, Erick Erickson, denounces move as cynical ploy; denounces liberal media for lack of sufficient denouncing of Obama administration. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

10/11. Obama administration renames Democratic Party “Democrat Party” in attempt to soothe the stormy seas of partisanship. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

1/12. Obama nukes Tehran. William Kristol accuses Obama of “anti-Israel, anti-Semitic appeasement.” David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

6/12. Obama declares, “well, if it makes you happy, I guess I’ll pretend after all that I am a Muslim born in Kenya.” MSNBC head Pat Buchanan attacks Obama for cynical politicking. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

8/12. Obama comes out in favor of own impeachment. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Democratic Partisans.

9/12. Obama switches party allegiance, runs for GOP nomination, wins. Entire apparatus of Movement Conservatism immediately denounces wicked anti-Obama conspiracies launched by socialists. David Broder issues stern admonishment to Republican Partisans.

11/12. Entire nation dies of stupid.

Yes, we have options and no, they don't depend on a destructive primary challenge. More on that this weekend.