Liveblogging Kentucky Senate Debate

Morning Updates:

I don't care that Conway has flip-flopped on capntrade as much as I care that he's on the wrong side now, but Jake is right.

Read the Herald coverage here.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I suffered bringing it to you! Note to self: next time, start drinking at least 30 minutes before starting to live-blog.

Have you made calls for your Democratic Congressional candidate today?

8:56 p.m.: Kentucky politican who most influenced you? Jack: Crit Luallen, Paul Patton, Wendell Ford. Rand: Jim Bunning. (!!!) Jesus Fucking Christ.

8:53 p.m.: rand: Social Security and Medicare are completely broke, and also cause AIDs! Privatize! Wall Street RULZ! Jack: His prescription wrong for Kentucky. If we'd privatized, be completely fucked today. Need to stand by Social Security. "Sick and tired of hearing about privatizing social security - I will never do that."

8:51 p.m.: Capntrade: Rand: It would be a disaster, Conway ambivalent. Jack: I am against capntrade. FUCK YOU JACK CONWAY.

8:48 p.m.: Rand: Ronald Reagan is GOD. Nuke the Department of education.

8:47 p.m. Rand: the Department of Education is full of Commies and causes AIDs!

8:46 p.m.: Jack: need early childhood education. "There's a role for federal government in helping young people get into college and graduate." WIN!

8:44 p.m.: Fucking idiot viewer has to bring up fucking abortion. But Jack rallies: "Abortion should be rare as possible, government shouldn't tell women what to do."

WIN! Jack Conway, I Forgive You Everything!

8:42 p.m.: Rand: you oversimplify everything, you don't listen, you just want to win, you are a BIG MEANIE! WAAHHHHH!

8:42 p.m.: Rand: tax people who own racehorses.

8:41 p.m.: Rand: "President Obama is a disaster!" Jack: "He's just making that up."

8:40 p.m.: Jack also has an unnamed "opponent." Stupid.

8:38 p.m.: Rand: PERVERSION! Obama is Perverted! Sick people who want health insurance PERVERT the market! And cause AIDs!

8:37 p.m.: Rand: when I said $2,000 deductible, I didn't mean NOW. (More LIES!) Lies upon lies upon lies about Medicare, about Obamacare, about whether the sun rises in the east ....

8:35 p.m.: Obamacare! Jack wants to fix it, but then goes on to praise all the popular stuff. Not perfect bill. Doesn't like deal cut with big pharma. Take that, Obama!

8:34 p.m.: Agreement on a myth: U.S. is very good at winning wars. Uh, not since World War II.

8:32 p.m.: What about returning vets? Jack: very important to take care of veterans - have to stand up for veterans, not cut vet benefits. Rand: That's dishonest (no, it's not you lying motherfucker.)

8:30 p.m.: Rand: I never said anything about segregated lunch counters - Jack Conway lies! Jack: Anyone can watch the videotape and see him say that.

8:28 p.m.: Goodman asked Rand, do you think social security is a ponzi scheme? Rand: Wahhh! Aqua Buddha! libtards! Wahhh!

8:27 p.m.: Rand: libtards lied about me - WAH!!!! Jack: I saw you embarass the shit out of yourself on Rachel.

8:25 p.m.: Viewer question about social security and Rand INSULTS HIM. Loser! Rand: Solution to deficit is to read bills.

8:22 p.m.: Jack: Should not have ignored Pakistan, need to have partners. Rand: I saw soldiers from Fort Knox go to Afghanistan. IN YOUR DREAMS, idiot! NO ONE from Fort Knox went to Afghanistan. Kentucky, do you want a Senator who doesn't know the difference between Fort Knox and Fort Campbell?

8:20 p.m.: Jack: not OK to stand back and say it's just too bad that people are losing their homes. HERO CONWAY! Need to find ways to keep people in their homes. Have to get back to sound practices in banking.

8:19 p.m.: Rand: if you got defrauded by your mortgage company, you deserve to die in the streets. Capitalism RULZ!

8:16 p.m.: Jack: TARP not success because no accountability. Holy shit - actual policy sense. Rand: TARP causes AIDs! And ass pimples!

8:15 p.m.: Jack: jobs, jobs, jobs. Rand: send less money to washington. BREAK! No chance for Jack to say Kentucky gets $1.50 back for every dollar we send to D.C. If we send less, we get less.

8:14 p.m.: Rand says Paul Krugman was WRONG! Why is he not burning for that blasphemy?

8:13 p.m.: Jack: we need prudent regulation. Rand: Regulation causes Ebola! And abortions! And a scary black man in the White House! Deficits make me shit my pants!

8:12 p.m. Rand: Regulations cause AIDs! Also, who is this "my opponent" of which Rand speaks? Why isn't that person on stage with Rand and Jack?

8:10 p.m.: Government Sux! Obama Evil Bad Big! Rand hates government! Jack has a jobs plan, and is a different kind of democrat. We know - you're the republican kind of democrat.

8:08 p.m.: Favorite state parks - Lake Barkley and Barren River. Boring. How about Rough River or Pine Mountain? Books: Poisonwood Bible and DaVinci Code. More boring.

8:06 p.m.: Rand Paul: "I'm not from Texas, really! I rode my bike all the way from Texas to Kentucky because I love Kentucky small towns!" (So fuck you, Louisville and Lexington. Also, I seriously doubt Bowling Green considers itself a small town.)

8:03 p.m.Jack Conway was born in a log cabin in Western Kentucky, where he studied lawbooks by firelight and split rails for fences ... the question was about you, Jack, not your ancestors.

8:01 p.m.: Jack Conway is from the DemocratIC party, not the Democrat party. Thank you, Bill Goodman!

7:50 p.m.: Via Media Czech, here is how you can submit questions during the debate:

* E-mail kytonight@ket.org.
* Call during the program toll-free, 1-800-494-7605.
* If you don't have e-mail, you can use the Kentucky Tonight Web message form.

7:45 p.m.: As for the usual teabagger/kochsucking lies, here's a smart-ass remark I'll give Conway free, gratis and for nothing:

"Wow, Rand. How do you keep your tongue from snapping right off its roller (bursting into flames, curling back and cutting off your windpipe ...) when you lie like that?"

7:40 p.m.: Watch the webcast live here.

Live-blogging begins as soon after 8 p.m. as I pour a stiff whiskey.

7:30 p.m.: Before the debate begins, here are the big questions:

Are the Villagers dead wrong about the Aqua Buddha ads that revealed Jack Conway as a real fighter and Rand Paul as a whining, pissing little bitch being bad for Conway, or are the Villagers Humongously, Galactically Wrong about the Aqua Buddha ads that revealed Jack Conway as a real fighter and Rand Paul as a whining, pissing little bitch being bad for Conway?

Will Conway keep playing offense, hitting Paul hard on economics, especially the 23 percent sales tax?

Will Paul stay defensive, either blowing up again or maybe even bursting into tears and peeing his pants?

Will Paul shake hands with Conway?

Will Kentucky's media mini-Village stay in the tank for Paul?

Does Conway have an adequate sound bite to swat down the idiotic but inevitable attacks about his brother?