No, Ezra Klein: You Are Not Worthy

Eager Villager Elf Ezra Fucking Klein hosted the Rachel Maddow show Thursday night, which just pissed me off no end.

I've never liked the supercilious little brat, especially since he seems to specialize in pretending just enough journalism to fool real liberals into thinking he's one of us.

HA! As evidenced by the unbelievable patronizing Ezra piece highlighted on Tuesday by Kevin Drum:

Ezra Klein says it's not the protests themselves that have caused him to take Occupy Wall Street seriously. It's a Tumblr called, “We Are The 99 Percent,” full of personal stories of people who have, seemingly, done everything right but are still struggling with debt, unemployment, and a stagnant future:

This is why I’m taking Occupy Wall Street — or, perhaps more specifically, the ‘We Are The 99 Percent’ movement — seriously. There are a lot of people who are getting an unusually raw deal right now. There is a small group of people who are getting an unusually good deal right now. That doesn’t sound to me like a stable equilibrium.

The organizers of Occupy Wall Street are fighting to upend the system. But what gives their movement the potential for power and potency is the masses who just want the system to work the way they were promised it would work. It’s not that 99 percent of Americans are really struggling. It’s not that 99 percent of Americans want a revolution. It’s that 99 percent of Americans sense that the fundamental bargain of our economy — work hard, play by the rules, get ahead — has been broken, and they want to see it restored.

I cannot do that one justice. Fortunately, Wonkette nails the annoying little fucker right to the wall:

Middle-aged yuppie child Ezra Klein is exactly the sort of youth welcomed at the dying Washington Post. Permanently cautious and nervously polite, quick to distance himself from ancient youthful indiscretion of a couple of years ago, inherently middle of the road and steeped in the meaningless bullshit policy/punditry circle jerk of the era, Klein can be counted on to write in that special way nobody really uses to communicate, because it’s writing that is only written to please his elders at think tanks and in the Kaplan/WaPo board room. “Look at the little feller,” you might hear Richard Cohen mumbling to a wastebasket. “Why, he’s not so different from me, in the 1960s, when I was no doubt on the meekly impotent side of everything happening around me.” And now Ezra Klein has bravely (cautiously) made it clear that he very vaguely supports the concept of the masses being upset about something, even if they haven’t FedExed their position papers and enclosures via the proper channels. The kids are all right!

It’s not the arrests that convinced me that “Occupy Wall Street” was worth covering seriously.

Well what then, what was it? What shuddering insight finally convinced the likes of EZRA KLEIN that something could finally be covered “seriously”?

Nor was it their press strategy, which largely consisted of tweeting journalists to cover a small protest that couldn’t say what, exactly, it hoped to achieve.

Channels and decorum, folks, it’s all about the proper media contact strategy using the proper channels and decorum. Mess that up, and you’ve messed up the daily calendar of the very important people not yet laid off by the Washington Post.

It was a Tumblr called, “We Are The 99 Percent,” and all it’s doing is posting grainy pictures of people holding handwritten signs telling their stories, one after the other.

Tumblr? Is that how the youths are getting their porn now, on their Blackberry? Hhmmph, and such grainy pictures! Do they not have access to a top-notch photojournalism department like we do, here at the closed-down Washington Post suburban bureau?

These are not rants against the system. They’re not anarchist manifestos. They’re not calls for a revolution.

Relax, managing editor of online news! I’m not going to Crazyland! Nothing about guillotines and lining up the motherfuckers against the wall in my corporate blog! I also apologize for using an exclamation mark, in my mind.

Let’s be clear. This isn’t really the 99 percent. If you’re in the 85th percentile, for instance, your household is making more than $100,000, and you’re probably doing okay. If you’re in the 95th percentile, your household is making more than $150,000.

Translation: “I am paid very well to paste in these statistics from various professional liberal organizations staffed by lifers who compile statistics. Let’s be quite clear that these Occupy Wall Street ruffians on the Tumblr do not have their statistics exactly correct.”

Fuck this guy.

Or, you know, don't. You know where he's been.

Here's a good OWS photo gallery to remind you of what Ezra doesn't, and never will, understand.